Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
