where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
