can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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