I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize