where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a hot homeless man
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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