Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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