I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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