How'd it feel making her break her religion?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
