I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
