OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
