The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize