Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
