I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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