sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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