party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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