Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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