Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
