She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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