I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize