Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize