Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is Oprah even human
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
