He uses pillows to masturbate.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize