Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The struggles of a small town man whore
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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