just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
