I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
