thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
