he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
