yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
