So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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