I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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