I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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