i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize