i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
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