Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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