Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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