4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
