I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
