People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
