Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i drank out of a bidet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
