We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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