so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
