My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
