dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
