I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We need to rekindle our bromance
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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