youre lurking in front of me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
