So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
