I hate your face
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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