Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Come see our sink grown plant.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
