I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
