He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
