sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
