How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
