Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
