butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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