Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
