Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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