I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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