We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize