I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
