I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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