But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
