Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
