i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize