you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
