I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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