as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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