I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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